Etiquette exists to make guests feel looked after. Every rule below has a practical reason behind it, and once you know the reason, you can tell when it applies to your wedding and when it doesn’t.
The couple
Traditionally the couple sits at a head table facing the room, with the wedding party beside them. The reason is visibility: guests want to see you, and the toasts are aimed at you. A sweetheart table for just the two of you serves the same purpose while freeing the wedding party to sit with their own partners. See head table vs sweetheart table for the trade-offs.
Parents
Parents of the couple usually sit at the tables closest to the couple, each hosting a table of their own close family and friends. In some traditions both sets of parents share a table. If parents are divorced, give each their own table of equal standing at a similar distance from the couple — the detail is in seating divorced parents.
Grandparents and older relatives
Close to the couple, and with their comfort in mind: away from the speakers, near the restrooms and exits, with an easy path to the table. If a relative uses a wheelchair or walker, choose a table at the edge of a main aisle and remove a chair.
The wedding party
At the head table if you have one. Otherwise, near the dance floor — they tend to start the party — and seated with their partners or dates.
Plus-ones and partners
Always seat couples together, including new partners and plus-ones the couple hasn’t met. A plus-one who knows nobody should be at a table with the guest who brought them, never separated.
Children
Young children sit with their parents. A kids’ table works for children old enough to sit without a parent, roughly seven and up, and is best placed within sight of the parents. More in planning a kids’ table.
Single guests
The once-common “singles table” has fallen out of favour because it can feel like a spotlight. Seat single guests among friends and friendly couples instead, ideally with at least two people they know.
Turn your etiquette decisions into rules — SeatFinch keeps every one.
Start planning freeMixing the two families
A common modern approach is to mix both sides at some tables so the families meet, while keeping close relatives together. Mixing works best at tables where guests share something — age, interests, or a connection to the couple at the same stage of life. Avoid creating a table where two groups who don’t know each other sit in two silent halves.
Vendors
If your photographer, videographer, planner or band need a meal during the reception, give them a table — usually near the edge of the room with a view of the action, so they can get up quickly. Confirm with each vendor what their contract says.
When to break the rules
Etiquette is a guide, not a contract. If your parents would rather sit with their friends than at a family table, let them. If your grandmother wants to be next to the dance floor, put her there. The only rules that truly matter are the ones that protect people: keep couples together, keep people who shouldn’t sit together apart, and make sure everyone knows someone at their table.
Writing etiquette down as rules
The easiest way to make sure none of these decisions get lost is to write them down as explicit rules before you start placing names. In SeatFinch, those become “must sit together”, “must not sit together” and “keep households together” rules, and the auto-seater keeps every one of them as it fills the room. The guide to making a seating chart walks through the full process.
Last updated 2026-11-02